Archive for November, 2010

Stereotypically Jewish Lich

November 30, 2010

Jewish Lich Magic Card

I apologize for the flood of shallow generalizations above, but his inspiration usually brings to mind the Old Testament except to fantasy RPG fans. The two liches combo well together too.

The Jew gold remark is from South Park.

Jace, the Unplayable

November 30, 2010

Jace Magic Card

Call it sour grapes if you will, but who else is sick of seeing 8 Jaces running in every deck with Islands?

The planeswalker rule 212.9c kicking in makes this common Jace a silver bullet to those annoying mythic rare versions. Being zero cost and a cantrip when he dies means everyone will run him maindeck, mwahahaha!

Circle of Inaction: Red

November 30, 2010

Red Ring of Death Magic Card

Inspired by the oft-repeated theme run by Dueling Analogs. The sparse text made allowed me to complete the editing in under fifteen minutes.

I thought about adding a 1 colorless mana activation cost to match the Circles of Protection it is based on. But that would imply that someone (*cough* SONY *cough*) intentionally sneaked a malfunction command into all those X-Box 360s.

Now if Genesis Wave decks became top tier, we’d be talking USD10 price tag man…

Leonidas, King of Sparta

November 29, 2010

Leonidas Sparta Magic Card

If you know your memes, you’ll immediately pick up on the applications of this Legend. Draw 7 cards which includes Firey Temper, Blast From the Past and maybe Violent Eruption… And then immediately discard them!? Madness!!!

Indeed, the whole theme of this card revolves around that one memorable, oft repeated, overly exposed scene.


Intolerable Abomination

November 29, 2010

Justin Bieber Magic Card

You have to have great confidence in your position to wipe the board and start pinging away with this monstrosity. About the same level of confidence in your gender identification if you’re a male who openly listens to her its his records.

The ultimate humiliation… Having your last 6 life chipped away by ‘The Beeb’ while your Eldrazi, Phyrexians, Nicol Bolas and even Progenitus ran screaming out of the game in sheer, terrorized disgust.

Wait, make that the penultimate humiliation. Actually putting him in your deck, ramping to Mass Polymorph and landing him on turn 4, and then dying seven turns later with nobody playing any other cards is what epic suckitude is made of.

Don’t end up driven insane yourself when you play him! Get a gradual innoculation at HERE, HERE and HERE.